How do you give negative feedback without dreading it?
Before the conversation, tell yourself what you’re feeling and that this is support, not punishment. Then open with one clear sentence you can fall back on.
What I say in the video
Hate giving negative feedback? That uncomfortable feeling doesn't mean you're a bad manager, it means you care.
The goal isn't to feel nothing. It's to keep your emotions from running the conversation. Beforehand, name what you're feeling: "I'm anxious, not unsafe." Then reframe it: "This is support, not punishment."
Then go in with one clear sentence you can fall back on, like, "I want to talk about something I've noticed so we can improve it together."
When you manage your emotions first, your feedback lands as guidance.
What I didn’t say in the video
Most managers try to get rid of the nerves before a feedback conversation. That rarely works, and it can lead to overpreparing until the whole thing sounds scripted.
The opening sentence matters most because that's when the nerves are highest. Once you've said it, the conversation usually finds its own rhythm. If it goes sideways, you can come back to the same sentence. Keeping it short and focused on improving together tells the other person this is about their growth, not your frustration.
Try it today
Write your opening sentence for a feedback conversation you've been putting off. Say it out loud once before you schedule the meeting.
Bill Smartt is a New York executive presence and public speaking coach and the founder of Smartt Talk. He works with leaders in financial services, tech, advertising and startups.
